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Monday, August 18, 2014

ahm a zoombeh nao (I'm a zombie now)

You know what sucks? Being sick.
You know what sucks even worse? Being so sick that you wake up at five-thirty in the morning, unable to move due to a combination of dog at your feet and being sick, not caring about the fact that 1. you are drooling all over your pillow, 2. you really REALLY need to pee, and 3. your nose is dripping all kinds of snot.
*sigh*
Does anybody like getting a cold? I thought not.
I don't even know why viruses exist. Not even like like I wonder why mosquitoes exist, though. They simply... shouldn't exist.
That has a double meaning. The first is "OH MY GOSH WHY ARE YOU HERE I HATE YOU," and the second is "How did this even happen? It's not even living. It doesn't even have a base instinct to survive, like microbes do!"
It's just... so... weird.
So, let's see about this. A virus is a string of genetic code in a sack of protein, right? So... what?
I guess I need to get my questions for this sorted out now. Here we go:
#1. How did viruses come into being? Did they "evolve" after or before true life was created?
#2. How do they respond to their environment? It's the one trait they share with living organisms. But how do they do it? They have no sensory organs, or organelles as they are called in the microscopic world.
#3. Why is it that they have to reproduce? They have no instincts at all! THEY DON'T LIVE!
*sigh*
I don't even know. Maybe I'll go do some research and come back with...

*****

...this stuff.
#1. Viruses are the most abundant type of biological entity?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#2. Not even Wikipedia is sure how viruses happened. See above link.
#3. Viruses apparently help evolution go along using HGT (horizontal gene transfer)... wat
#4. They can evolve through natural selection, 'cause ya know, those things die SO OFTEN! I hate 'em.
...
so...
You're thinking I have the answer to whole thing right now, don't I? Dang it, I wish!
I don't know. I can't seem to get anything the information. Except maybe the second half of question #1 was answered... Wikipedia says that some may have evolved from plasmids and some may have evolved from bacteria. I, honestly, have no idea.
My theory is that viruses are actually alien space-robots, sent here by a most malicious alien race when the Earth was still young, and have since changed into strange horrible zombie-cells. Wanting to share their pain with the world, they infect everything to make them feel like zombies.
Yes! I've done it! It's a completely solid, sound theory! It's totally airtight! NOTHING CAN PROVE ME WRONG NOW! My discoveries will be spread across the globe, and I will be renowned as the most intelligent person to have ever existed! YES! MUAHAHAHA, MY PLAN FOR WORLD DOMINATION IS FINALLY COMING INTO REALITY! And, we will defeat the viruses, once and for all -- WITH SYMPATHY!
Now, to figure out what those mosquitoes are all about...

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